Free B's

It's summer-time in the city, which is a great time of the year for us - other than the weather. While I'm not technically in the city as much as I used to be, Erika and I have been taking advantage of all the free B's that are at our disposal both in our wonderful new community of Astoria as well as some in Manhattan.

- Big Muscles - As in things that I aspire to. We signed up for a local gym near our apartment a few weeks back, getting an amazing deal and paying less than $30 a month for a gym with a decent amount of spin classes and weight lifting equipment, as well as a four-week money-back guarantee that we would be satisfied calling this gym home for the next year. A day after signing up, Erika and I both found out why this gym was so cheap and had already decided to make all the required visits within four weeks to call it quits at this gym.

First of all, from the first time we entered the place, I had already decided that I didn't like the sleezy manager there. He kept butting in on our membership salesman and repeating things that we had just been told. I just had a real bad feeling about the guy.

Second of all, we each had a free session with a physical trainer. You would think a gym with various physical trainers would have a revolutionary time-management tool called a "schedule" so that a new member could figure out what time slots are available for both themselves and the trainer. Not at Synergy! Their trainers just assume that you are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and tell you what time to come in, and then change the time during the same conversation because they don't know if they have someone already coming in at the same time. Terrible. And the free physical training session was really a 20 minute evaluation to see if I'm in shape (duh, I could have told him I'm not in shape) and then 40 minutes of trying to get you to sign up for unreasonably expensive sessions, claiming that he was so good that he didn't need new people to sign up and that paying for a wedding is not as important as looking good in the wedding. And bringing in sleezy manager to try to talk me into it.

Third, the classes. I pretty much only go to the gym for classes, especially the very motivational spin classes. The spin equipment at our new gym is from like the 80's and are horrible. To top that off, we had a huge, buff Eastern Euro spin teacher who was cussing and swearing from the minute he walked in about how he's too old to be teaching this class and not even willing to help new people adjust their bike. He was more impressed with checking himself out in the mirror than he was with making audible instructions during the class. Erika tried the belly dance class but said that it was worthless and she couldn't even break a sweat and didn't learn anything. I tried the Jui Jitsu class with all these experienced fighters and ended up with bruises all over my body - though the class itself was alright (if you know what you're doing, and I don't).

Fourth, this is a place for meat-heads. You may think this would be the perfect place for someone like me and my physique, but I actually don't really like going to gyms where everyone is huge and making me look weaker than I am.

Suffice to say that the four weeks will be free, because we're quittin' this gym big time as soon as possible.

- Big, Fat, Greek Wedding - As in the movie. We have free movies in various Astoria parks along the river during the week - weather permitting. Last week we got down to Astoria park and made a picnic and watched Happy Feet. This week is My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding, though last night's downpour may have been a bit too much to enjoy the grassy knoll that we sit on to watch the free movie.

- Bon Jovi - As in New Jersey and camel toes. Yes, we totally rocked a FREE Bon Jovi concert - in Central Park! D totally hooked Erika and me up with hard-to-get tickets to the free concert that was being put on as part of the baseball All-Star game festivities. And it was awesome!
It was great way to spend a Saturday night and I am totally going to download some Bon Jovi hits this week to relive the experience.

- Brazilian Martial Arts - As in Capoeira. We have free beginner Capoeira classes every Saturday afternoon at a park around the corner from our apartment. These are true beginner classes that are a great workout and are actually pretty fun. I hoping to someday have the strength and grace to perform some of the kicks we learn. But at least everyone is as bad as me! It's pretty fun though, and there's enough experienced fighters there to help me refine my technique.

- Burgers and Beer - As in totally free! One of my favorite restaurants in my new neighborhood celebrated their one-year birthday with a free burger and beer event. The place got rated the best new restaurant in Queens and they have great Asian/French food that we have sampled quite a bit - especially on their 2-for-$10 nights! Anyway, Erika and I got down there nice and early to get a seat and gorged away on our free dinner and beverages until about 8:30. While the place and the corner sidewalk outside were pretty packed, I can only imagine the mayhem and chaos that would exist if someone in Manhattan tried to pull the same stunt. It had a comfortable and friendly ambiance, just like most of the rest of our new neighborhood.

J. Riley, finally got a summer update in!