To B(ike) or Not to B(ike)

So Sean decided this weekend that he needs to buy a bike. He's fascinated with
the fact that our water-locked island is incredibly small and a bike would
definitely be useful for things like running errands, grocery shopping at Whole
Foods, and commuting uptown since he lives so far away from the subway. And
likewise for me! Sean and I have different spending habits, however, so while
he drools over $1000+ bikes that he obviously needs (frown), I am trying to
find the cheapest bike available because I know that either a.) it will get
stolen, b.) It won't be stolen, but will have a wheel stolen, c.) I rode a tank
of a bike all through college up a massive hill, so I can handle anything on
these newer bikes. I found one for <$300 that I am having a serious thought
about, but I need to do some mental cost analysis to figure out the value of
such an investment.

Did I mention how nice it is to be done with all my orthodontics and mouth work?
Yes, it is wonderful to be able to bite an apple, eat ribs, get corn-on-the-cob
stuck in my teeth, bite a burrito that will make me feel sick to my stomach
later in the day (because NY doesn't know how to make them), etc. Oh, wait,
except that apparently all of this mouth work has hurt the feelings (literally)
of one of my teeth and now I need to get a root canal. Sigh....

J. Riley, does the oral trauma drama ever end?