Different Strokes

Saturday afternoon I began the second phase of masochistic actions to my jaws by
getting an arch expander installed by my orthondontist. I had had one of these
gizmos when I was a kid, but this one looks a little different and will be used
after the surgeon cracks my face open on Wednesday. I remember this thing not
being very comfortable to wear, but I was not expecting it to be THIS bad!

Other than the fact that it hurt like a mother when he put the thing inside up
upper jaw and secured the bands around my teeth, the thing is just plain
uncomfortable. It fits somewhat like a retainer on my pallete (however that's
spelled) with a little keyhold in the middle that I crank twice a day after
surgery, which will expand my arch. The fact that I have something new covering
my pallete means that 1.) my mouth is constantly drooling (that's hot), 2.) I
can't taste food anymore, 3.) the food that I can taste means that it's stuck
between this arch expander and my pallete and isn't coming out without a fight
(I guess it's good that I can't taste food, I'll just stay home every night and
eat plain rice and save my money), and 4.) I have a *major* speech impediment.
Those of you who thought I had a minor speech impediment before (well, I guess
that's just me and my ortho, since he's the only one that has validated what
I've thought all along) will definitely agree that I can hardly be understood
anymore. It was so bad that when I went to Paul and Cathy's going away party, a
friend of their's who I see a few times a year whispered to them and asked if I
was okay and if I'd had a stroke or something. How awesome is that :-| ....

Despite my personal oral drama, D threw a great going away party for Paul and
Cathy on Saturday night. I felt bad because she had so much food there and I
couldn't help eat the schmorgasbourg of finger foods that she had brought. I
did, however, manage to spill a nearly full cup of Bacardi Lemone and Coke all
over her filing cabinet when my hand got shocked from static electrity when I
was sitting it down to work on her iPod setup on her new computer. Yes, I have
technical support obligations around the clock!

Sunday I pretty much ran some errands and did a ton of laundry after waking up
late. I did some minor cleanup and some IT maintenance on my new PowerMac and
then headed up to the Bronx to help Melissa put together some Ikea pieces she
had bought. I've never actually assembled Ikea stuff before (I think I'm the
only person in my age group who can say that), but it was kinda fun working
with screwdrivers and hammers again. I don't do much of that stuff anymore...

J. Riley, 48-hours until blast-off....