Polyester and Inferior Genes

With winter quickly approaching, my wardrobe is being reshuffled, with shorts being replaced by jeans, my boxers being replaced by thermals, and my t-shirts being replaced by anything made out of wool or cashmere. Or polyester.

There's a big difference between polyester and wool, in terms of warmth, quality, durability, and, one of the most important factors for me, price. In the past, if something was made of polyester, but it was significantly cheaper than something made out of wool or an equivalent fabric, I didn't think twice about going for the polyester. But now I know the real truth about it. I've learned that the most important trait of polyester is it's incredible ability to generate enormous amounts of static electricity during the winter months in cold places (that would be anywhere BUT California). And this static electricity is released frequently during these winter months, often passing through my body and out through my finger tips whenever i touch something made of metal. And this is extremely annoying. I'm starting to feel like the main character in Office Space (who is shocked every time he touches his office door). Does anyone know how I can make myself shock proof???? Maybe one of my "layers" should be aluminum foil or something like that.

After taking some time off to recover from a horrific injury caused by yogan down-dogs (my thumb hurt), I returned to the gym to start playing some raquetball against Cathy. Being the masculine man that I am, I refused to stop playing until I beat her. Well, we went five games and all I had to show for it was a massive blister on my thumb. And a big 0 in the "Win" column. Clearly there is an inferior gene in my body that relates to my thumb. Not to mention my inferior lower eye-lids.....

P.S. Funny article (among many others) on Craigslist. And there's lots of activity going on on my Friday Night Smackdown blog entry...