Strange Sense of Motivation

Today was a very strange day for me. It all started off pretty normal, working from home, getting very little done, but preparing for my usual after-lunch surge of productivity. I had a lunch meeting with my boss and co-worker (part of the new "please give us some feedback, Mr. Boss-man") downtown, which I thought would be fun. It was fine, he gave us positive feedback and said we were on schedule and doing fine. My co-worker (who is very very strong technically) and boss (who is super-man when it comes to technology, a former member of the Israeli Special Forces for IT stuff) started talking about interview questions for some new guy that we are hiring. Naturally, being "soft" technically (relatively speaking), I couldn't answer the questions they were talking about asking. My boss was very surprised that he hadn't asked me some of these questions, but I'm sure he didn't, because otherwise I would have been much more pessimistic about getting the job to begin with. Suddenly, I started to feel quite inferior and realize that I haven't really taken the initiative to learn a lot in the three months at this new job, considering how much technical material there is to learn in this area, especially considering the fact that I sold my boss on my ability to learn things.

So I walked away from the meeting feeling a little dodgy about myself, but I didn't really think about it much after that. I headed up to the Bronx to finish up some clinic site visits at two high schools. Maybe it was hearing the kids screaming (I mean, out-of-control screaming) in the hallways, maybe it was the armed policeman walking around the halls, maybe it was the junior high kids sneaking into the nurses office to take something out of one of the nurses drawers while she was tending to another student in another room, or maybe it was the...espresso I had after lunch, but on my way home, I suddenly got really...motivated.

My previous job pretty much totally drained me of all motivation, but suddenly it's back, with a vengence. On my way home, I changed courses and went to Barnes & Nobles, intent on finding a book recommended by my coworker on TCP/IP. I found the book, realized that it was probably written for people pursuing a PhD in Geekology and WAY over my head, but I still had the burning desire to find a book to buy on the subject, and a burning desire to get some serious work accomplished. I went home and totally dove headfirst into my work.

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I am going to take some serious time out of my irresponsible schedule and get some work and edu-ma-cating of myself done. Because life, it's a balancing act.....

I got the first of 12 World Soccer magazines in the mail today, shortly after I drooled over the same edition at the Barnes and Noble. It's quite ironic, because I had to force my wallet back into my pants to refrain from buying it right there on the spot, a mere 10 minutes before I pulled it out of my mailbox at home.

Strange day, strange blog....